What I want to know is, if everything happens according to God's will, why does it never dawn on these people that perhaps they are not meant to have children?
Can a childless couple not be a happy couple?A question for couples who can't conceive?
I think it's much easier to sit on your side of the fence and pass judgement. Most couples say, let's have a baby and get pregnant in a few months. For those of us who don't, it goes from being a vague ambition to a concentrated goal. I have so much love to give and I know I was meant to be a parent. Whether that will eventually happen through biological children or adoption, I don't know. You mentioned God in your question. I don't whether that was a off-hand addition or if you are a fervent believer. I can tell you this. Infertility is a recognized disease and God does not want anything bad for us. There are plenty of stories in the bible of people wanting children and not having them right away. Some people waited decades before they were blessed with a child. Since this topic seems to bother you, it would mean a lot to me if you would check out a quick movie on www.tearsandhope.com
It's just a slideshow with music but it explains a lot. I used to think like you did before I experienced infertility. I wondered why these people didn't just give up or adopt. I can tell you now that there is no way to explain the hope and determination I have to create life with my husband. All I can say is please don't judge and try to see things from the other perspective.A question for couples who can't conceive?
Just because you can't conceive don't mean you still can't have a baby it is adoption. So yes you can still be happy.
I like your question. I think it is an honest one.
Can a childless couple not be a happy couple?
--Of course. ANY couple COULD be a happy couple, but we know that many are not. Adding the enormous, steady but recurring (because you grieve anew every month) stress does put pressure on a marriage. In this way, dealing with infertility is no different than dealing with any other chronic illness. It is physically, emotionally, and spiritually taxing.
What I want to know is, if everything happens according to God's will, why does it never dawn on these people that perhaps they are not meant to have children?
As a person who believes that everything does happen according to God’s will, in God’s time, AND as a person in the midst of infertility, I have often asked aloud the same question.
The answer is yes. Yes, it crosses my mind that it may be God’s plan for me to remain barren. But I don’t know for sure. Though my husband and I have been trying for a substantial period of time, there are couples who have been trying for twice as long before they conceived. Since they did EVENTUALLY conceive and everything happens in God’s plan, then we can assume that it WAS God’s plan for them to conceive at the EXACT moment they did. That means that dealing with years of infertility WAS His plan, too.
Who am I to say when another couple should give up? How could I possibly know what God’s plan is for someone else?
I don’t know, in this regard, what God’s plan is for me.
Forgive me, but the phrasing of your question the “why does it never dawn on these people” leads me to believe that you are one who has been spared this path. Just as you wouldn’t say to a mother who has lost a baby to SIDS “Why hasn’t it dawned on you that perhaps you were not meant to have children?” it is not kind for you to speak those words to all the mothers who have lost their babies in-utero. It is a pain that is indescribable.
Please keep your heart open for those of us struggling.
A childless couple can be a happy couple. There may be alternatives to this problem. First some couples may choose adoption. Another suggestion is to take the problem to God. Pray about it, and don't give up hope!
=( I guess I can be a happy couple without a child.
It just feels like maybe one should not give up because then they can say that they tried their best and it just wasn't God's will.
Also there's a desire to have a family, complete the family, watch their kids who have our traits grow up in front of our eyes and just to be a larger family than a couple.
If one can totally let go of that desire, he/she can learn to be completely content without a child too.
Perhaps things happen according to God's will, which I agree with... BUT that just means, they could be meant for adoption...there could be a child out there who needs people just like this certain couple who can't conceieve naturally.. they could be meant for another journey...God brings people into your life in mysterious ways...this couple may venture to get IVF to concieve and meet a doctor, or someone along the way that becomes a great friend..or someone they need in their life... everyones journey is different, everyones purpose is different...that DOES NOT mean they aren't meant to have children.. life is one big test, its all in how you handle it..if this couple remains positive and faithful, despite the circumstances, then they're on the right track and of course God wants us to make the most out of our situations, so in the end we will recieve even more... just because some people cannot naturally conceive does not for one second mean they aren't meant to have children, it just means that this is another obstacle in life, they now have to handle it in great faith, and the journey they go on together, in order to have children..wether it be adoption..or invitro... for some reason, they are meant to take that path...and when they're blessed with a child, they will appreciate that little life and parenthood so much more...
Perhaps it was God's will to give the scientists the ability to develop technology to help infertile couples have babies.
no , i wouldn't be happy at all and i would be miserable .
that's like if a d student who studies his butt off should be happy with a d. You can be happy, sure, but medical reasons can stop you from having a baby, i know someone who tried to have a kid for 3 years and then after treatments and everything they went through, when they stopped a year later became pregnant.
what point are you trying to get at with this question
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