You see alot more couples having babies before marriage, would you say they are planning it this way?

I am unwed and 33 weeks pregnant, Although I was on birth control and I was taking it properly, I ended up pregnant. But I have noticed so many couples having children before marriage. Do they plan it this way? Just curious. Or is it more of an accident, or irresponsiblity. I dont see anything wrong with it, I just see almost a trend...for lack of a better term.You see alot more couples having babies before marriage, would you say they are planning it this way?
There is one sure way of not getting pregnant.You see alot more couples having babies before marriage, would you say they are planning it this way?
I think with the stats on divorce, a lot pf people don't see the point in committing themselves to something that could end up very messy. I'm married now but I wasn't when we had our first child - he just happened and that's probably what happens to a lot of people - there's a lot of ';accidents'; out there! :)
A lot of people might disagree with me on this, or hate me for it, but I would call it irresponsibility. I fail to see how there is such a thing as ';accidentally getting pregnant.'; Having consensual sex with someone is a conscious decision made by both participants, each of whom is completely aware of the possible outcome even with the use of contraceptives. Nothing is 100% effective except not doing it.





Everyone is capable of waiting until the right time, which I personally believe is after marriage-but I'm not going to shove my religious beliefs down anyone's throat. Waiting is not a matter of ';Can I do it?'; It's a matter of being mature enough.....or not. I'm aware that there are plenty of people who have had children without being married and are now perfectly happy families, and I applaud them especially with our society the way it is.





As for you, like other people have said, count your blessings that the guy is still around and willing to be a father. With the way most guys are, I admire him for this. And, I wish you best of luck with your new child. :)
Well I'm 37weeks and i have a daughter both pregnancy's were accident but i dont care i still love my babies and yes iam still with the father to my kids...and i dont think there is anything wrong with that and i think some ppl its just accidents and some just plan it cuz marriage dont work out all the time...everytime someone gets married it seems to end bad...well im going to be getting married to my long time bf next month we been together for 7years so yea i think its time lol...well hope that answers some of your question...take care..good luck
I am 35 weeks pregnant and got married at 17 weeks. we started planning the wedding at 11 weeks. My son is wanted and is and always will be loved. We were not planning this baby but we werent trying to stop it. We are both excised and cant wait to see or new son very soon.
Yeah it seems that way but the way marriges last now aday's there is nothing wrong with been pregnant and not been marry,
Both my Boyfriend and I were married before and got ';burned'; pretty bad. Thankfully we didn't have children with our spouses. We don't want to get married for fear of what we both went thru when we tried that. We have a loving son and he doesn't notice the difference. We didn't plan for our son be we didn't make sure that he wouldn't be either. We both wanted a child and didn't care how long it took or didn't take for us to have one.
My girlfriend is 10 weeks pregnant it was NOT planned but we are sooooooo excited and we are welcoming them with open arms!
very few couples plan it
I can't speak for unmarried couples but as for myself we were trying but when we got pregnant we had given up and was entirely unplanned. I think some couples (women in particular) feel they are already married or just are unprepared. I don't think many plan it either though. Some are irresponsible. It just depends. My hubby and I tried two years before we were married. We were engaged and both of us knew we were as prepared as we could be. :) I am glad that I am pregnant now, but looking back I don't think we were nearly prepared as we thought we were. But I do think there are alot more unmarried people having children. I think it is all of the above. It just depends. I do not see anything wrong either as long as the child is loved and taken care of by responsible adults who love them as well. I am a wife and mother to be of 11w1d
There are many people who want a child but don't want to be married. I think that people in America don't value marriage much any more, thus the huge divorce rate. I think it's a shame, marriage is a very fulfilling conection that many people are missing out on. I don't believe that people should jump into marriage with a person that they aren't 100% sure they could live the rest of their lives with, but I do think that those who find that marriage isn't a walk in the park should try harder not to bail when the going gets tough. As for reproducing out of wedlock, sometimes things happen, it doesn't make you a bad person, or a bad parent. Good luck with your little one, and congratulations. Kids are fun and best of all, they don't get to divorce you (just kidding). ;)
I don't think anyone plans anything anymore..MOST PEOPLE DONT EVEN THINK ABOUT BIRTH CONTROL!! They do everyone and have no idea who the father is! Watch all the talk shows on now...The women on these show are yelling I am 100% sure they are the father and 99% of the time they are not!!
ummm..sum pple dont really plan it at a uncertain age..i dont think soo..i guess its wat life gives u
Children need both parents. PERIOD. It doesn't matter in this day and age to be married, of course this works out best for the man because he gets his cow and milk for free. You my dear will end up bareing this burden alone if you don't get married. You really don't know what you are in for. Good luck.
Yes, I do see alot of coupes having babies before marriage. I would have to say that men don't want the cow when they can get the milk for free. Women on the other hand want men to commit and that's selfish of them. I must admit...I am a woman and when I was 17 yes, I got pregnant on birth control, had the baby. Not to mention that relationship didn't work. I got involved with another man got pregnant again. That relationship didn't work either. Now, I met a man at age 24 and got pregnant with baby number 3 he wanted to marry and we did and we're still together. I'm ashamed to admit to people that I have 3 children by 3 different men. I blame it on the the abuse that I went through as a child rape, molestation, you name it I was never happy. I always thought I needed a man in my life. Now after 9 years of he and I being together he tells me he married me b/c I was pregnant. It's hard to digest but we are on the verge of a seperation b/c he's not happy. I will pray for you and your baby, but don't get married b/c of the child it will hurt in the long run.
no, they're in the same boat like you.


chin
I think some of them are unplanned (or accidents) and others plan it because they don't mind that they're not married. I think times are changing and more people don't care if they're not married. They want a baby with their partner and they don't need to be married to get pregnant and have a baby. If they love their partner, that's what matters. Or, some people aren't even in love with anyone. They just want a baby so badly that they'll get pregnant by whoever and not mind being a single mom.
Personally, we were already committed to each other. We already felt married. We were not engaged when we came off of birth control but had been together for 3 years, 2 of it living together. We got engaged 4 months after we came off of birth control. Finally, after 6 years of being together we eloped. This would also be within the 3 day period where we got pregnant!!! After 3 years of no birth control we got pregnant within a couple of days or on the day we got married.. how's that for ironic!!
I think if there was better education on obtaining and correctly using all methods of birth control, it wouldn't be as much of a problem. We were taught that sex was forbidden and we would get diseases and die if we had it. Needless to say there were about five pregnant teens in senior year.... So if they had said ';Here's how to get the pill'; I think things could have been different. But I doubt that will ever happen.
This is a hard question to answer for fear of judgement.


I am 23 and got pregnant with my first at 18, delivered at 19. I never wanted children but birth control pills are not effective for me, learned my lesson and finally the truth after baby number three.





I dont see it as a trend all that much, I see a lot of my friends have them just because they want one, I am married, and have been with my boyfriend for 8 years before getting married last year and we have 3 children, one of them has Downs syndrome so I wouldnt say its trendy myself, I continued to complete my family I figured just go for it and get it done while Im young so that by the time they are older I will still have my youth.. Now it didnt start that way I didnt want to have any children at all until I was in my mid to late 30's I figured.





You dont have to be married to have children, that is one thing I hate to hear, honestly, I am judged everyday for having three kids, and now even more so because of my daughters downs syndrome, Im blamed for beinng young and automatically said to have done drugs which defected my child. Thats not the case I have never done any drugs while pregnant but just because Im young people think thats what all young people do.





okay I babbled





I think a lot of couples may plan to have the children without marriage, from what I heard, marriage can ruin things before a baby comes and then creates a broken home for the child, This is not my opinion this is what a few friends have said to me. All my friends have children and are single or in a on off relationship and they love it they can still be young and free and have their family.
I think that it can be an accident or often times it just plam irresponsibility. today most of the people have their children and then get married and then get divorced. I always thought you were to get married and then have your children.
Whether people are planning it or not, I have to say that after having my baby, I couldn't IMAGINE doing it without a loving husband by my side to help me and father the baby. It is SO much work and takes a lot of love. It would also be sad not to have someone to share the exciting, adorable, heartfelt moments with your partner.





I hope the father of your baby is around. If not, you will sadly feel a void and so will your child. I wish you all the best!
i know that i had my lil ones (now 9 week old twins) before my husband and i were married (just got married 2 weeks ago). it was unplanned, but we were engaged. like you i was on birth control, but like my husband says he just has super sperm. lol i think that they are more of a case of accidents. but in some cases, irresponsibility. such as when you see these 14 year olds getting pregnant, which in my opinion is just plain horrible!!!!! that is them being irresponsible and wanting to grow up too fast, and before they are ready to do so. i am 21, dated him for 2 years before we were engaged for a year.





i dont think that have a child together is the reason to get married, think that you have to have more than that to make a marriage work, and always said that when i did get married i wouldnt get a divorce because of my children.
Im not married but have been with my boyf for 3 1/2 years so i feel like im married! Im 6 weeks pregnant with our first baby and dont plan to get married for awhile. Bubs was a welcome accident...But I dont see him/her as a reason to get married.
Some peoople plan on their children but a lot of them don't. This even happens with married couples. Both of my daughters were unplanned. I was on two different types of birth control with each of them and still got pregnant. Their father and I weren't married at the time either of our daughters were concieved. We're married now and actually planning on baby number three.I also think that having children out of wedlock is becoming more of a trend. society is a lot more accepting of unwed mothers these days. My mom got pregnant with me 22 years ago. At that time she had to run off with my father to get married so she wasn't shunned by the people in their small town. My husband and I got married when we wanted to, not because I was pregnant. As long as the baby has two loving parents, I don't see a problem with it; planned or unplanned.
in most cases, i think it is irresponsibility. most of them can't afford to raise a child and their parents or the taxpayers end up footing the bill. of course there are some that have jobs and money, but just don't like the idea of marriage. but i'd guess they are in the minority.
This is why i support abortions
mayb the condoms were bad.





prevention is better than cure








get that guy to b a good father, cos everybody can have a baby, but not every guy can b a father.





then, attend Church more often and know the Lord
They're not planning at all! Who needs to plan anything when you have Heat, Food, Clothes and a TV? You seem to be an exception, in a good way, who just got unlucky.


Congratulations anyway.


And what Anne C said! 60% best answers! WOW!
It is totally irresponsible and very bad for the children. A child deserved to have 2 committed parents who have saved and planned for his birth. He needs a secure home and a pair of loving married parents.