Why don't most marriage counselors tell couples when it's obvious things aren't going to work out?

Is it greed? Is it fear of looking incompetent? Is it a misled belief that any couple can make it work if they just try hard enough?Why don't most marriage counselors tell couples when it's obvious things aren't going to work out?
Money.. $135 per hour...Why don't most marriage counselors tell couples when it's obvious things aren't going to work out?
They don't want to put themselves out of a job.
my marriage counselor bluntly told me to get a lawyer!
Bad for business.
If they did that they wouldn't make any money on the follow up visits.
Two reasons - one is definitely greed. They charge exorbitant rates and as long as you keep coming, they keep getting paid.


Reason 2-they honestly believe with enough time, they can solve whatever your problems might be.
I think it's mainly about the money. (greed) It's not their life that's involved in the marriage, ya know?
They don't make any money if they tell you to give up...





And people always have their own agendas, maybe the therapist is still trying to work out his parents failed marriage through yours.
i think that most marriage counselors believe that they can. all the sudden something can dawn in someone. theyve seen it happen, and are just trying to find what you need to get to that point
They do!!!!! And they will tell you that to repair the relationship may be a long haul, with no guarantees....
There's no money in that for them.
greed.
i think counselors just need to be strait up with people they try to get the bond back in a relatsionship but honstely it really the two people eighter u work it out or u go differnt ways that just a choice u got to work out and make
greed
Nope it's because that's not our call to make. I can be very direct with clients and say if you all can't come to some sort of resolution on at least the major disputes then things won't change and you'll both continue to be miserable. Some people will take that as motivation to change, others will give up, and others still will go home and be miserable. Whatever their decision is has to be totally up to them. And surprisingly no one ever comes out and asks me do I think it will work. I do tend to see them after one of my more difficult assignment sessions apart from one another and ready to move on with their lives but I as the therapist can't make the decision to go or stay for them.
Because its at that very point when the counselor sees a break through coming. True, all relationships arent saved by counseling but ifneither of you have quit, the the counselor sees the ray of hope, no matter what you may think. True, marriage counseling is always the easiest thing to go thru but it may be the last resort to save a dying marriage. Sometimes things do get ugly and nasty in the sessions but thts exactly what the counselor is trying to rid the marriage of. We are trained to take a couple willing and wanting to save their marriage to levl they fear to go to on their own and sometimes the couples do think its over but when in reality theyre the closest theyve ever been to actually saving the marriage. The biggest sign to a counselor that tells him its over is when the couple begins to not showing up for sessions. You two have to decide when your relationship is beyond repair, not the counselor as its not his marriage. Counseling is like a medical doctor or priestor paramedic in knowing fully well that not every thing in life can be saved and we will all end up losing some in the process of our duties.
Show me the money? There is no Mercedes or College money if you just apply common sense and call it what it is.





That is why people that use these ';Professionals'; are not viewed kindly by normal Midwestern Farms Types.





Old Guy
I think its a little of both. But I feel that if a couple is coming to counseling, they want to stay together and work things out. That is their decision, and nobody has the right to tell them they should not be together. they Have to reach that decision on their own.
I was lucky enough to go to a counselor who was able to tell us the truth. After two visits he told me it was obvious I would never be happy in the relationship. Good luck.
i think its because when they know its not goin to work out. they still want to atleast try to make it work. or it could just be about the money.(greed)
cuz as long as you keep going to them they keep getting paid.
I vote for greed. It's the same reason lawyers never want to resolve anything. They keep getting paid
People dont really WANT to hear that thier relationship isnt going to work.


Counselors are supposed to be objective in a positive manner and that doesnt jibe well with that. It could bve partly because they want you to keep coming to them





They try to teach folks how to resolve issues on thier own.


Occasionally some have reccomended seperations. It depends on the particular counselor i guess.


LIke any position...some dr's arent great some are etc...
If they tell you, then you wont give them any more money, right?


Also, I think they are not allowed to do this because it goes against their jobs...it is their job to make it work out. They would be admitting that they have failed and open themselves up to law suits...Sandra